Chicana Dreamer

A masculine figure shows up in my dreams from time to time with brilliant spiritual as well as practical suggestions on how to live my life. I first saw him in a dream in 1982, or so. He was somewhere in the universe–not like at a cafe, or a house, or office–just him hovering in space. He wore a beautiful zarape or poncho with geometric lines in blue-gray against a warm beige background. He didn’t say anything. He just threw me a thought form as though playing ball with me, and I caught it in my left hand. He revealed to me a secret of life. More important than anything else, he loves me unconditionally, and as my relationship with him has developed over the years, I’ve come to treasure his presence and the wisdom of his messages. He is the inspiration behind the workshop, Dancing with the Cosmic Lover,” I am presenting with Diana Marto on January 28, 2012. If you will turn to the Events Page for the details, you will see the essence of the topic of discussion and how it applies to developing your intentions for this New Year.

The intent of the workshop is to clarify what individual participants desire, and to plant the suggestion in the unconscious so that it can go about gathering the elements it needs to manifest what’s desired. We’ll create a symbol of the desired intention, and give it power and punch with guided imagery and Reiki healing energy.

The mind does not distinguish between what you think of others from what you think of yourself. In the vast pool of thoughts and feelings, there is only ONE. There is no “I” only, “they,” “them,” “you.” Only ONE, or only “One I.” Therefore, we must take caution in any thoughts we have. Period. Whatever thoughts we have of others, the subconscious takes it literally and thinks you are talking about yourself. It has no sense of humor, either. It takes you seriously on everything you say and think. Trust is very important. For, if we fear something in someone else, we hold the same fear in our body.  Daily practice of Yoga helps in letting go; exercise helps, walking, fresh air, running along the beach. Have a program and work on it every day as part of your spiritual practice.

Spirituality is where Truth Resides. In order to go beyond the mundane, we need a relationship with Spirit, and input from something bigger, beyond our own thinking. Therefore, whatever you learned from your family, take what you like and leave the rest. But, find something that resonates for you about spiritual values and beliefs about Spirit. There is tremendous healing in sharing our thoughts with someone or in a group.

We become what we believe. It takes time, it’s subtle. Our mind is like a garden, if we don’t want to have a tremendous overgrown mess, we must work on it every day. Clear out resentments, fears, rage, chronic negative thought patterns that weaken our resolve toward the things we aspire, such as being a source for healing in the community, family, work place. This requires belief in the unity of the Universe; Doing a Creative Expression that requires concentration and daily practice is also very helpful, art, music, dance; Spiritual Direction-trust in at least one other person who can help us hold to our values and Integrity; Psychotherapy can help us develop the willingness to look at our weaknesses and become the person we’d like to be; Trust is a vital component in Spirituality–the willingness at least.

Creative Expression. This is what people see and form beliefs about you. Create a platform and develop your Sacred Gifts on which you can stand and share with the world.

Career: Licenses, Certificates, Associations matter. Be congruent with your values. Don’t worry about competition. But, stand firm on what you have to offer.

Love: We need to be surrounded by people who love and trust us and who we love and trust. Today, this moment, it begins with Self Love. If we can have patience and tenderness toward those little annoying nit-picking thoughts that plague us throughout the day, then we can extend love to those that depend on us for steady support and encouragement.

It’s best to do this in a committed, open group.

These are precepts I have come to believe in matter in life. I haven’t lived them in a straight line. I’ve made tons of mistakes, of course. I’ve gathered these beliefs and values over the years from studying and reading about religions around the world and my Mexican culture. They have been tried and trusted ingredients throughout the ages.

As you think of your goals, wants, and needs list for 2012, remember that we can always tell Spirit what we would like, we can clear out the debris that stands in the way of attaining our goals, and wait for the results from Spirit. Visit the events page and call me to reserve a spot for you. Space is somewhat limited. I know there’s a lot of money laying around the house after the Holidays . Invest in yourself–you deserve it, and you are worth it. Let’s have fun, and play with serious matters.

It’s early in the morning, and I’ve awakened with a quiet feeling of peace–aleluya, hermana/o–. I attribute this peace to the fact that I’ve returned to my first love, the piano. I’m not working with a teacher yet, but I’m just practicing to pick up speed and let me fingers unthaw after the long silence. It took time, but something in the following entry put together over the summer into my journal opened my eyes to an unsatisfied longing in my heart. It begins with a poem:

“‘Dime La Verdad, Mamá.
Tell Me the Truth

‘Dime la verdad, Mamá. Tell me that you have always loved me. Tell me that your dreams for me extended beyond the river, the mountains, the horizon, the Sun and the stars; that you dreamed for me guidance by flames of alter candles, prayers, and gentle words; that open arms awaited you from your first breath and were then your legacy to me.

‘Tell me that before you were born, your great grandmother had a place set for her at the dinner table, that she was surrounded by lovely flowers and was given the spiritual truths from her grandmothers, and the heartstrings continued forever forward.

‘Tell me that as far back to the beginning of time, you and your grandmothers lives were filled with music, incantations for joy, and love; that the sweet sound of melodic voices singing in celebration awoke you at their births; and that you danced in bright colored costumes with silver and gold chimes, where your dresses flowed gracefully in rhythm to horns, guitars, gourds, rattles, and drums.

‘My dreams tell me I am a stranger at dinner tables where I am hungry, invisible; where I take small morsels, and say little; a shadow that slips through doors unseen; where only at night I dare to speak my thoughts and dance alone under the dark moon.

‘Tell me I was never shipped to places unknown, beyond the warmth of my family, where voices cracked through stunned silence as muffled noises that awakened espiritus malos bad spirits.

‘Tell me I was never scorned; never seen as the wretched forgotten child of a family, la rechazada, who hid behind tattered curtains, denying lies she heard about a bewildered little stranger, her soul longing for comfort, and respite.

Tell me this is someone else’s nightmare; that my life began filled with music, incantations for joy and love; that the sweet sound of melodic voices singing in celebration awoke me at my birth; and that I danced in bright colored costumes with silver and gold chimes that flowed gracefully in rhythm to horns, guitars, gourds, rattles, and drums.’

“As I write this poem, my sadness stems from not having personal experience with cultural traditions that were available generations past, before Mamá as a governess set sail with an American family for the United States, via South America. To my mind, something in her heart shut down then, in 1920, which altered family ties beyond her time. When I think of my mother’s life, I imagine her as a sixteen year packing her suitcase, and not looking back for many years until she could begin to fathom all she’d lost in leaving her pueblo of Rayon, in Southeastern Mexico. With letters from home in hand, I’d observe her sitting quietly at the top of our back door steps looking into an empty lot overgrown with dry weeds. Sighing pensively, she’d return to her chores with an air of resignation.

“In some way, I carry her unspoken sadness, and long to recreate at least a small fragment of the spiritual truths she left behind. I often feel that I am living out a part of her appointment with destiny.

“Papá was born in Cananea, Sonora, in 1900, fifty years after El Norte was lopped off from Mexico. From his accounts, it seems to me that in the hearts of the people at that time El Rio Bravo still roared its usual song and remained a channel that carried the old ways. In 1918, he arrived in Los Angeles with his guitar and mandolin; they were his love, and his passion. It’s as though he carried his destiny firmly in hand, and whatever twists fate had in store for him, he was prepared to face them.

“I now often wonder if it was my destiny to have this bittersweet, indefinable ache that relentlessly pushes me to scrap together what was “lost,” in my parents’ move North. Before poverty turned our family upside down, and I was sent away to other families while Mamá’s worked in a bracero camp, her dream for me was that people could say “Que bonito Noni toca el piano.” How beautifully Noni plays the piano. As I came into my teens, it was enough for me to know this was what she wanted, to make me fly in the opposite direction. And that was how I missed out on the best of my childhood years; because I felt rejected, I then rejected everything I loved. I do wonder if life would have been sweeter and more accommodating had I bowed to the call of the piano that I loved so much. (my emphasis).”

It is “bowing” to this call that brings me so much joy. I wonder if there is a secret place in your heart that needs to be honored? Today’s the Virgen de Guadalupe’s birthday, another reason to honor what’s in your heart. It does bring peace

Blessings,
Ellie

My book, Corn Woman Sings: A Medicine Woman’s Dream Map; 2008, gives more details about dreaming and how it can be helpful to you as a Curandera/Medicine Woman/Artist/Mystic. I also describe the process of defining your destiny and how it will bring Sacred Gifts to help on your earth’s journey.

Creativity is a topic dear to my heart, especially in discussing how dreams can help expand it. Therefore, I will begin by paying particular attention to the area of Destiny and how it relates to our creativity. The point of dreaming is to discover your destiny, and implement the sacred gifts that are given you. So, let’s begin with Destiny. What is it? how can we discover it?

But first, a very brief word about dreaming because so many hints and clues as to one’s destiny are revealed in our dreams. There are many states of consciousness within dreams, and destiny is just one important facet you will find in dreams–time travel, shape shifting, discovering other realities–to name just a few . For now, let’s begin by noticing our breath as we go to sleep, go into our dreams consciously (by noticing your breath) and observing what’s going on. If it helps, imagine a small flame as the center of a lotus blossom, and simply observe the flame, and notice how your consciousness is changing. There may different sensations throughout your body as you enter deeper levels of awareness.

In the morning, it will help if you write your dreams down, and observe the feelings and sensations that accompany the images you received during the night. Perhaps you have been practicing awareness in dreaming already, and can jump right into exploration of images that are related to your destiny and gifts you have.

“El Destino” is talked about frequently in my Chicana culture, and a strong belief prevails that destiny is decided by God, and is best left untouhed without judgment of how it may present itself in our lives–the death of a loved one that leaves us bereft in the world, lonely or lost. But, it is always something that is intended to make us a better person and to benefit us in shaping our lives. In my research, I found a connection to these beliefs that experiences are set into our lives that determine our destiny in The Creation Stories of the Popol Vuh which tell us that the Lord of Duality in the twelfth heaven detrmines our destiny when the child is placed in the womb.

There were other factors that entered into this belief: Another is that Destiny is so strong that it anticipates your move and can prevent you from doing something that is not part of your fate; or, it can cause you to move toward a certain experience that will have enduring consequences that were intended for you only.

Even though it may seem that there is no personal choice, Destiny is elusive and not so easily revealed. We have to dig for it to uncover the creativity that is given us to develop for the benefit of human kind. We are not just born with the dictates of Destiny, we are born with talents unique to our path, and the community participates in helping us discover the path toward our appointment with it.

I can’t actually say how it will be for you, but your creativity is expanded by taking note of a dream that reverberates within you and leaves you with a specific instruction or question. I have one dream where Grandmother, my most significant dream guide, meets me at the Empire State Building in New York. I press the button for the elevator, and take it to a woman’s office who is a writer. My feet sink into the rich dark red carpet, and while I wait to meet the author, I look through the books on her shelves. I find that I’ve written three or four books. When I am called into the writer’s office, I see that she is working on the galleys of her current book, and has a stack of others already written. When I come back down the elevator, Grandmother asks me, “Have you done what you’re supposed to do?” I intuit she is asking me if I’ve begun working on my first book. But, in the morning when I write the dream down, I ask myself, “What book?” Over the years I received further instructions that sent me into the social services field, and from there came the inspiration and direction. It seemed ludicrous at the time, but I just followed directions. I am working on my second book now. That’s why it’s important to be alert to the signals and impulses in your dreams.

I had this dream in 1982. In 1995, I received further instruction from the Elders, another group of dream guides, in 2001 I completed the formal investigation, and my first book got published in 2008. In between there were so many twists and turns in the road, it would make you car sick.

In the next segments, we will explore this topic into greater detail. We’ll examine another paradigm, how to interpret major events that impact our path with destiny. The instincts that propel us in our dreams are solid information; heed the signs. Until then, tread lightly upon the earth and be happy.

Abrazos/hugs, Ellie